Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
