If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize