R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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