Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
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mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
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His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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