It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
