I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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