Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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