Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
