OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
