but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
