Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
