i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
