Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
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Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
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You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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