Are we in a gay sports bar?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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