I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
