How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
