he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize