No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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