I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
