I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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