wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
