yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
