hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
