Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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