he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
