i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
