arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
