she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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