Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
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I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
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My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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