does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Green mimosas i think yes
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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