I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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