And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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