The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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