I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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