That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
