five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
