Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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