So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
