Barsexuality is the new black.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
