How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so let's talk penis.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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