we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
