It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize