Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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