I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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