I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize