It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
