Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
