I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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