yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
