nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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