just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
