So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
