That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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