i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
