I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize