How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
where are my eyebrows?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
