talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
