i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
