so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
