I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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