He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
