party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
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Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
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So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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