Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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