Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
